Calvinist Giving Altar Call Asks Jesus If He'll Accept Any Of These People Into His Heart

Theology · May 26, 2020 · BabylonBee.com
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WINTER LAKE, MN - Presbyterian minister Peter Tenney gave a moving altar call Sunday morning, asking Jesus if He would accept any of the unsaved in the congregation into His heart.

"With every head bowed and every eye closed, will you come forward and accept any of these people, Jesus?" the Calvinist preacher pleaded passionately. "Please, Lord, don't wait forever. Today could be the day You accept some of these people and become their Lord and Savior!"

One confused man in the back raised his hand in response to the altar call. "Put your hand down, sir," Tenney said. "I didn't ask for your participation here. This is between me and Jesus."

After several minutes of passionate pleading and twelve verses of "Jesus Has Decided That You Will Follow Him," Jesus accepted seven people at the altar call, neither too many or too few, but precisely the number of people He meant to.

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