SCRANTON, PA — With the election finally over, the Presidential candidates finally found common ground in their joy over not having to visit Pennsylvania ever again.
Both Donald Trump and Kamala Harris expressed gratitude for all those who made never having to visit Pennsylvania possible.
"From its millions of potholes, to how terrible the Philly airport is, to the crazy high price of the Pennsylvania turnpike, to getting stuck in traffic behind those Amish buggies, I'm truly grateful I never have to visit that hellhole again," Kamala said in a statement.
Trump also released a similar statement. "I love Pennsylvanians, I really do. That Scott Pressler guy, with all the hair. But they do these crazy things, they put French fries on sandwiches, and there's always people burning things, have you noticed that? Not like Florida, let me tell you."
Pennsylvania has been a linchpin swing state throughout the election, drawing dozens of high-profile rallies to its state and exposing Penn culture to the general public, an experience many Americans aren't sure was needed.
As of publishing time, the Harris campaign had also expressed deep delight at the thought of never having to campaign again with Kamala Harris anywhere, ever.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
