BURBANK, CA — As part of a new pledge to "quiet down" the company's aggressive push for progressive themes in its content, returning Disney CEO Bob Iger has revealed the entertainment giant will cut back to including only seven LGTB characters in each children's movie.
"This is a significant change of course from our previous policy of introducing a minimum of three dozen gay or trans characters per project," Iger said at Disney's town hall this week. "We'll continue to press forward with our crusade to make every character queer, we'll just do it at a slower pace."
Insider reports indicate the company will proceed with its upcoming animated film The Lion Queen, in which Simba rules the animal kingdom while wearing makeup, false eyelashes, and feather boas. Conversely, Disney is said to be temporarily shelving Marvel's Ex-Men, a reboot of the superhero team featuring a cast made up entirely of post-op gender re-assignment patients.
"Pushing alternative lifestyles and female dominance over men will continue to be a core principle across all of our intellectual properties," said Ima Formerdude, Disney's Chief Woke Agenda Person. "Putting all this stuff in front of as many children as possible is still a priority."
At publishing time, the company was still rumored to be engaging in a debate as to whether or not to move forward with revealing Miss Piggy from The Muppets to be a male pig in drag all along.
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.