U.S. — A black celebrity took a single conservative position earlier this week, causing conservatives to immediately embrace the celebrity as a conservative icon. "Wow - he said something that kinda sorta comes close to my own opinions," said one Republican woman in Iowa after she viewed the footage of the famous black person saying the not-entirely-liberal thing. "He's totally my idol now, and I bet he agrees with my positions in every other area as well." The woman immediately went back to binge-watch old episodes of the black man's television show, excited to consume all his conservative content. Other Republicans responded similarly, posting on the internet about how much they always liked that guy and how he's now their favorite famous personality, purchasing his merch, and calling all their friends to talk about how great he is. At publishing time, the black performer had been invited to speak at CPAC.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
