WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Clintons confirmed that Hillary Clinton has tested positive for COVID-19, while Bill Clinton has tested positive for COVID-19, syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, hepatitis D, hepatitis F-Z, HIV, herpes, HPV, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, chancroid, mycoplasma genitalium, crabs, scabies, E. coli, the common cold, chickenpox, giardiasis, infectious  mononucleosis, COVID-20, Epsteinorrhea, the Spanish flu, the American flu, the Thai flu, rubella, mono, shingles, genital warts, HSV, NIV, giardiasis, amebiasis, vaginal candidiasis (somehow), and being in close proximity to Hillary Clinton - an often-fatal condition.

Thoughts and prayers, Bill!

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.