WASHINGTON, D.C. - In breaking news today, the Clintons confirmed that Hillary Clinton has tested positive for COVID-19, while Bill Clinton has tested positive for COVID-19, syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, hepatitis D, hepatitis F-Z, HIV, herpes, HPV, chlamydia, trichomoniasis, chancroid, mycoplasma genitalium, crabs, scabies, E. coli, the common cold, chickenpox, giardiasis, infectious  mononucleosis, COVID-20, Epsteinorrhea, the Spanish flu, the American flu, the Thai flu, rubella, mono, shingles, genital warts, HSV, NIV, giardiasis, amebiasis, vaginal candidiasis (somehow), and being in close proximity to Hillary Clinton - an often-fatal condition.

Thoughts and prayers, Bill!

Should you get your kid the new iPhone 14? Of course.