WASHINGTON, D.C. — After workshopping several potential slogans with Democratic focus groups, the 2024 Biden campaign has settled on "Death To America".

"This is what the Biden Presidency is all about," announced President Biden as the campaign banner was unfurled. "Death to the Great Satan!"

According to sources within the campaign, Biden began considering the slogan after hearing his supporters organically chanting "Death To America" at his speeches. "Nothing fires up a Biden crowd like calling for the violent destruction of the United States," said campaign manager Steve Roscoe. "It's like how whenever Trump needed to juice the crowd in 2016, he would start saying 'Build The Wall'. For Biden, it's 'Death To America'. That really sends the crowd into a frenzy."

After weeks of considering alternatives such as "Allahu Akbar" and "From The River To The Sea", Biden chose "Death To America" for its inclusive messaging. "It's a big-tent slogan that encapsulates the heart of the Democratic Party," explained Roscoe. "Maybe you want to bankrupt America through entitlements - death to America! Maybe you want to murder the next generation in the womb - death to America! Maybe you want to brainwash children into a suicide cult that amputates healthy organs - death to America! Maybe you're an Islamist terrorist that want to literally bring about the deaths of Americans - death to America! Everyone who wishes the destruction of this country is welcome in the Democratic Party."

At publishing time, the Biden campaign had reported excellent sales across the Middle East of their new "Death To America" t-shirts.

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