LANSING, MI - As fuel prices skyrocket across a country already dealing with porous and insecure borders, the Biden administration confirmed that it will shut down an oil pipeline in Michigan so it can be repurposed to carry illegal immigrants into the heart of America.
Critics question whether the Biden administration's decision to decrease the availability of gas while increasing the flow of illegal immigrants is a good decision, but those people are racist, according to experts.
"We were told by MSNBC just this morning that inflation is actually a good thing," said Press Secretary Jen Psaki, "That's why this new migration pipeline will be good for America in both increasing gas prices as well as helping voters - err - immigrants start a new life in America."
When asked if allowing mass illegal immigration is a desperate attempt to increase potential democrat voters following the wave of defeats from the 2021 elections in states like Virginia, Psaki clarified that the sole purpose of the pipeline was to help immigrants and that the pipeline's name, "VOTERS 4 2022 XL" was just circumstantial.
The Biden administration has also announced plans to dump shipping containers into the ocean and repurpose the empty cargo ships for transporting illegal immigrants up to Canada so they can ride the newly repurposed pipeline.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
