VIENNA — Joe Biden was rejected from the Vienna Academy of Fine Arts Friday after failing his second entrance exam. Professor Alois Delug said Biden's art was a mimicry of other, more successful works. "He has a talent for mimicry, I'll give him that. Not sure why he didn't make a go at still life. Still life painters just sit and copy whatever they're staring at. It would've been a natural fit for him, I think. Instead, he kept trying to pass off imitations of Thomas Kinkade as his own." Delug shook his head sadly. "And I like Thomas Kinkade!" In light of the two entrance exam failures, the school's rector has noted that Biden should not be considered for enrollment in the future. "He doesn't even draw heads on people. It's weird." The school did note that they are confident Biden will go on to do big things.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
