U.S.—In what's being called a game-changer for the 2020 Democratic primary, Joe Biden has landed the coveted endorsement of Corn Pops cereal.
After Biden claimed he stood up to a gang leader named CornPop armed with a razor, Kellogg's quickly signed Biden to a multi-million-dollar contract. Biden will appear on cereal boxes and in TV spots. The Corn Pops logo will appear prominently in future Biden campaign stops and on the side of his bus. He'll also wear a CornPops blazer while giving speeches.
"Gotta have my pops!" Biden says in a new commercial before launching into a long-winded recollection of the incident. He goes on and on about CornPop and how he brought peace to the gang-ridden land of Delaware back in the 1890s with the help of President Ben Franklin and Canada. "Eating Corn Pops is all part of a balanced breakfast for a man who brings peace and harmony to the land like me."
"Before I set out on the rough campaign trail each and every morning, I make sure to have a bowl of Corn Pops to keep my mind sharp," Biden says before smiling and taking a bite of the Pops. "Oopsy-daisy!" he says sheepishly as his teeth fall into the cereal bowl.
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.