WASHINGTON, DC—Campaign aides are comforting presidential candidate Joe Biden today at his bedside after he received devastating news. According to sources close to the U.S. Constitution, the law of the land requires any pick for VP to be at least 35 years old.
“I thought we could get someone younger!” sobbed Uncle Joe as he ate his applesauce. “Someone with a nice set of legs and a scented perfume like the ones all the young dames wear. When I promised a female VP, that’s what I had in mind!”
Campaign workers then brought a makeup covered young lady named Hillariana Clintonona before Biden as a possible candidate. “She’s a French model!” said the campaign manager. “She’s way less than 35 and she’ll make a great vice president!
“Hubba hubba!” Biden responded. Just my type! Come over here, sweetheart!”
Biden barely completed his sentence before falling asleep to the sounds of ‘Murder, She Wrote’ on the television.
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