KIEV - The latest polls in Ukraine indicate that Biden's approval rating has dropped to a record low of 0%, down from a previous low of 1%. Experts believe this may be due to Putin invading their country even though Biden used strong language like "come on, man!" and threatened to offer an effective strategy to mobilize truminadapressure. Other experts disagree, saying the main reason for the drop is Biden being a "major weenie." Pollsters indicated Biden's approval rating in Ukraine may be a negative number by morning.
Rumors swirl about the current condition of Senator Mitch McConnell, but his staff have come out to say that even if he were dead he will still be able to finish his term.
