NEW YORK, NY—In a late-night show interview Wednesday, Senator Bernie Sanders politely asked the nation to please stop mailing him books on basic economics, revealing that he’s been “absolutely flooded” with works on the most rudimentary concepts of supply and demand.
Sanders made the request after receiving yet another daily shipment of books from well-meaning Americans who simply assumed that he has never read a book on the subject in his life.
“I’ve got 1,200 copies of Human Action, 1,500 copies of Basic Economics, and 4,700 copies of Economics in One Lesson,” the angered senator said. “I’m drowning here.” Sanders also showed the late-night host a small mountain of children’s books on the subject of economics from the easy-to-read Tuttle Twins series, sent to him from Americans who assumed he had somehow missed classroom discussions on the value of a dollar and supply and demand while in elementary school.
Sanders further confirmed he still hasn’t read a single one of the books, stating that they look like they’re “full of harsh facts” and that he prefers a more emotion-based approach to economics. He added that he’s “a little peeved” that our nation has so many choices for books on basic economics on the market. “Do we really need that many?”
At publishing time, Sanders had arrived to one of his other houses and began screaming at the sky in anger upon discovering fifty-eight more books on basic economics had been mailed there.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.