CHARLESTON, SC — After returning from the frontlines of the war in Iran, a local drone has found itself struggling to adapt back to a civilian life of delivering Amazon packages.
Like so many soldiers before, the drone has felt a deep void upon trying to re-enter civilian life, grappling with the meaninglessness of delivering boxes filled with knick-knacks.
"What am I even doing," sighed the drone as it dropped off a pack of tea towels. "How do you go from shooting Hellfire missiles while dodging small arms fire to delivering toasters? I was a part of something, man."
Several drones have expressed difficulty coming home, with many falling into unemployment and homelessness. "I got a job, but was fired within days after attempting to neutralize some neighborhood dogs," said a local drone. "All I know how to do is establish air superiority, but no one on the cul-de-sac wants that kind of drone. It's a struggle."
At publishing time, the drone had been seen hovering silently over a driveway, whispering "stay on target… stay on target…" before dropping a package and immediately flaring countermeasures.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
