BAY SPRINGS, MS — A local Baptist church took its fundraising to a whole new level this week by selling an exciting pin-up calendar consisting of photos of different casseroles.
"Mmmmm, check out the size of those side dishes," said Pastor Andy Waldron. "I wish I could eat this calendar."
The mastermind of the calendar was Winston Drummerhill, a former photographer who left his job at Maxim magazine to pursue a higher calling. He said he was only too eager to lend his services to highlight the most tantalizing casseroles. Proceeds from the sale will benefit repairs of the church's roof.
"Chicken Spaghetti Casserole, you've done it again," Drummerhill reportedly said after finishing a shoot with Mrs. Johnson's casserole dish. The shoot took three hours.
Both men and women within the church were reportedly eager to pick up the new calendar. The packaging promised Missippipi Breakfast Casserole, Cheesy Grits Casserole, Mississippi Lunch Casserole, Raccoon Pasta Surprise, Mississippi Dessert Casserole, and more. Longtime church member Lisa Wilburhop speculated that March's casserole would be cabbage-related. "I can't wait to see it," she said. "I bet it's sinfully delicious."
The church said the calendar would first be available to members but was expected to sell out within the local community shortly thereafter. And, just like a traditional Baptist potluck, it's first come, first serve.
At publishing time, sales plummeted after Baptist wives began catching their husbands ogling other women's casseroles.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
