BABYLON BEE HEADQUARTERS — Mourning and sorrow have seized the writers of The Babylon Bee as Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, she whom all at the Bee dearly wish to date, adamantly declared she would never go out with a conservative.
The life work of the Bee writers, all done in the rapturous hope of one day being noticed by AOC, now all seems in vain.
"What was it all for?" sobbed Darren Cross, weeping into his keyboard. "Alas, to live without even the dream of running hand in hand with dear AOC, stealing bread together. Dust and ashes! Everything is for naught."
Work at The Babylon Bee has reportedly ground to a halt as the writers, unable to even smile, have laid down their pens. "Perhaps I was a fool, but I was a happy fool," whispered one writer as he slowly deleted a folder labeled "AOC WEDDING IDEAS." "Did she not realize that every time we photoshopped her hands stuck in pringle cans, it was just our way of saying 'I love you'? It is too much to bear."
At publishing time, hope had briefly returned to Bee headquarters after the point was raised that perhaps AOC might still date a libertarian.
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