UKRAINE — Things got awkward this morning after a Ukrainian soldier and a Russian Spetsnaz operator both arrived at Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Plant to blow it up and blame the other side for the ensuing disaster.
"Ohhhh, um, hi," said Russian Igor Popov to the explosive-laden Ukrainian soldier, also named Igor Popov. "What are you doing here, cousin? I'm just going for a nice stroll. Taking in the fresh nuclear power plant air, know what I mean?"
"Just pretend you didn't see me."
Expert anonymous sources on the internet claim that Ukraine is trying to blow up the plant, hoping the resulting nuclear meltdown will be blamed on the Russians so that NATO will join the fight and start WWIII. Other highly believable experts claim Russia is blowing up the plant so that Ukraine will get the blame for trying to start WWIII which will make them look really dumb so everyone will laugh at them.
At publishing time, the two soldiers decided to go ahead and blow up the power plant together as a team because "why the heck not."
WWIII is scheduled to begin next Tuesday.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
