SAN DIEGO, CA — Authorities have launched an ambitious operation to drop a massive dome over the San Diego Convention Center to keep the Comic-Con smell contained.
With the stench already overpowering neighboring communities, local officials requested help from the federal government to combat the unbearable odor.
"We've never smelled anything like this," said San Diego police chief Don Whitting. "It's a warzone out there, and frankly, we're losing the fight. Our goal at this point is containment. That dome is our only hope of making it out of this thing alive. We've already lost a lot of good men to that stank."
Authorities had given Comic-Con attendees prescription-strength deodorant and installed several new air filtration systems at the Convention Center, but the efforts were in vain. "We cannot overpower that funk," said Mayor Todd Gloria. "The noxious fumes emanating from that building are beyond anything humanity has ever seen. This dome is our last hope."
At publishing time, the daring operation had succeeded in trapping Comic-Con attendees inside permanently, to no one's dismay.
Starbucks employees are fed up and taking matters into their own hands.
