HOUSTON, TX - In response to the MLB investigation into the Houston Astros organization, owner Jim Crane has announced that the organization is firing the trash can ultimately responsible for the sign-stealing scheme.
After parting ways with their manager and general manager, Jim Crane felt that he did not go far enough to root out the problem. "GM Jeff Luhnow and Manager AJ Hinch did not stop the problem. Yes, players took part as well. But they weren't actually communicating signs like the trash can was. To truly stop the problem, he needed to be gone."
Despite the lengthy tenure with the organization, the trash can's punishment was swift and unforgiving. "I've served the organization from the Lastros days until the championship days. I only wanted to help us win, no matter the cost," he mentioned in a statement. The trash can gathered his belongings, which were mostly trash, and walked out of Minute Maid Park for the last time, a "walk of shame."
Other teams around the league are implementing new processes to ensure no other trash cans have the opportunity to communicate signs to hitters.