CUPERTINO, CA — Apple CEO Tim Cook warned today that heavy tariffs on Chinese imports could have a severe negative effect on employment opportunities for child slaves.
With President Trump's tariffs offsetting the production advantage China has of producing cheap goods with slave labor, Apple expressed concern that child slaves would be left with nothing to do with their tiny, nimble hands.
"We are deeply concerned that tens of thousands of child slaves could be left unemployed," said Cook at an investor meeting. "Apple has long helped maintain a robust labor market for children, ensuring that kids as young as five have the right to work 14-hour days in factories. Now, with these tariffs, that right is under attack. We're looking at a situation where the employment level for Chinese seven-year-olds could crater in a matter of months."
According to economists, children in China have long enjoyed a low unemployment rate, but the future is now in doubt. "Children in China never had to wonder if they were going to be able to find work," said economics professor Bart Smithers. "Trump's reckless tariffs have severely dampened the child slave forecast for at least the next year. Are American consumers prepared to see the cost of products increase because they weren't assembled by a small slave? We're about to find out."
At publishing time, Cook had assured investors that the child slave issue would have no impact on the next iPhone being even more of a disappointment.
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