Politics
AOC Cast As Tree At Convention

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The list of speakers for the Democratic National Convention has been released. And while “Squad” member Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez will be on stage, she will be in the non-speaking role of a tree.

“It’s a very prominent role,” Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi explained. “She’ll be on stage a lot, standing in the background while people like Bill Clinton, Mike Bloomberg, and John Kasich speak. Plus, Ocasio-Cortez loves the environment, which I believe involves trees or something. At least that's what my butler said last time he went outside to fetch me ice cream.”

It’s unclear how Ocasio-Cortez can help further her left-wing agenda as a tree, as she has been told all she is to do is “stand very still and smile.” Ocasio-Cortez hasn’t yet commented on her role; she’s not allowed to speak since she’s supposed to be “getting in character.”

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