FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE — The Babylon Bee would like to formally announce that it is willing to promote any and all U.S. government causes for the low price of $34 million. This marks a stark change from the previous company policy of mercilessly making fun of the government.
With other media publications like POLITICO cashing in, it's been harder than ever to compete in the media space. That's why, effective immediately, The Babylon Bee will discuss any topic from any point of view for just $34 million. This will ensure the survival of The Babylon Bee for many years to come.
The offer is good for precisely one article promoting a specific government cause or viewpoint. Additional articles will require additional payments. If you are interested in multiple articles, bundle deals will be announced soon.
We look forward to many rewarding partnerships with our new friends in the U.S. Government.
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