U.S. - Sources close to Megan Anderson and her boyfriend Jimmy Lytle claim that the couple kissed outdoors while wearing a mask, prompting Lytle's ancestor, who fought in World War 2, to look down in shame and judgment from the heavens.
Witnesses say they saw the ethereal, translucent image of the World War 2 soldier appear in the clouds and glare down at his progeny.
"I'm so ashamed," said Paul Lytle, Jr., who was in the 101st Airborne. "This is what I fought to defend? I should have let the Germans conquer us."
"Get a load of these guys -- no shame. How pathetic!"
At publishing time, ancestors of Lytle further back who had fought in the Civil War, the American Revolution, and had been martyred for their faith in persecution against the Christian church through the ages had all joined Paul in staring judgmentally down at their pathetic descendant.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
