Politics U.S.
Amy Klobuchar Emerges From Team-Building Exercise Caked In Blood

WASHINGTON, D.C.—To tackle morale problems, Senator Amy Klobuchar reportedly asked her staff to attend a meeting in a Capitol Hill conference room for a team-building exercise. The idea was for the team to perform a number of exercises to build trust and camaraderie to help with Klobuchar’s presidential campaign. Shouts and cries of agony could be heard emanating from the room, according to frightened bystanders who quickly fled the scene. After the event had concluded, the only one who emerged from the conference room alive was Klobuchar, who was covered in blood and muttering, “Idiots. Idiots.” Klobuchar has a reputation for being very tough with and demanding of her staff, but she declared the exercise a success and said she expected “no more problems with those particular staff members.” She then proceeded to eat a salad alone, stabbing at it with a sharpened screwdriver.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee

After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost.

Get FREE Access

*with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.