PUBLIC NOTICE — Hey, umm, just a heads up here. All Babylon Bee articles will be delayed for a while because all of the writers are out panic-buying flowers for Valentine's Day.
It all began during the morning meeting when the Editor-in-Chief stated the top agenda item for the day was Valentine's Day, followed by a brief pause, then a swear. The Managing Editor then quickly asked to be excused from the meeting, claiming he'd forgotten to feed his chickens in the backyard.
Within moments the entire staff had bolted out the door, leaving the office entirely empty, aside from our one lady writer who appeared to be angrily texting her husband for some reason.
So, nope, no articles for a bit. But hey, with no brilliant works of satirical genius to read, that'll give you time to go out and panic-buy flowers because today is Valentine's Day.
Regards,
Raúl the Janitor
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
