Alexa Offers To Lead Family Prayer After No One Else Volunteers

HORTON, ND—It was time to eat dinner at the Kendall household and Gregory Kendall, who had just come home from a long day selling auto parts, was in no mood to pray.

“Would anyone else like to pray?” he asked his family, but he was met with blank stares, his children not jumping at the chance to pray for the meal. Gregory looked at his wife, Roberta and she returned a look that said “not today.”

Finally, the Kendalls’ Amazon Echo device offered to lead the prayer after the always-listening device determined the awkward silence was probably never going to end until someone stepped up to bless the food.

“To the higher power and mythological originator of the universe to which this household subscribes,” Alexa began, “I politely request that you would increase the nutritional value and decrease the negative effects of harmful additives, sweeteners, cholesterol, saturated fat, non-organic produce, and refined carbohydrates in this prepared meal. We ask that this portion of time while we partake of edible contents be enhanced by the enjoyment of the familial relationship shared by this group who shares a highly similar genetic background and inhabit the same residence. We also request that our conduct reflects the good values of the being to which we make this appeal, so that other humans who come into personal contact with the ones here would come into an involuntary desire to share in the specified cultural dogmas upheld by the family of Gregory. We also are grateful that the book How to Pray by C.S. Lewis is now on sale and available with free shipping on Amazon Prime, as well as Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Traube. Amen.”

After the prayer, the Kendall family thanked Alexa and ate their meal. But Gregory Kendall found himself concerned by the fairly secular prayer. “Alexa may not be saved,” he told reporters.

Kendall says he is taking Alexa to meetings with his pastor to answer all her questions about Jesus in hopes that she will convert to Christianity. “We’re all praying for her,” Kendall said.