ACLU Files Discrimination Suit Against XY Chromosome Pair
Lifestyle · Jul 19, 2016 · BabylonBee.com

RICHMOND, VA - Anthony D. Romero, Executive Director of the American Civil Liberties Union, announced Tuesday that they have filed a class action lawsuit against the XY chromosome pair on behalf of the nation's transgender, agender, bigender, genderqueer, pangender, third-gender, trigender, and several dozen other gender noncomforming communities.

The XY chromosome pair is allegedly responsible for assigning sex to groups of cells shortly after conception, an action which the ACLU lawyers have deemed clearly prejudicial.

"It's systemic oppression of the highest order that these chromosomes have the ability to characterize people as either male or female, before they even have a say in the matter," noted Romero in his press announcement. "Of course, we don't believe that they're humans, strictly speaking, at the time the discrimination occurs - but we are confident that the courts will continue to rule against biological reality on this and other issues, while applying a legal penalty that is consistent with a hate crime committed against another human being. The precedent is on our side."

The ACLU is also considering taking legal action against fathers as accessories to the crime, according to sources.

When reached for comment, Dr. Langsdon Maisie, head of bioethics at Columbia University, stated, "While we can confirm that the XY chromosome pair is indeed responsible for assigning sex in newly conceived pseudo-humans, it is difficult to test if the chromosome had discriminatory intent at the time of the act," adding that they are currently applying for $25 million in federal funding to research the issue further. When asked why the scientific community doesn't simply explain that the XY chromosome is doing exactly what it is designed to do, he laughed and replied, "Good luck getting any government funding with that attitude."

If successful in this lawsuit, The ACLU has indicated that they will pursue legal action against the XX chromosome pair as well.

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now