Not all heroes wear capes, but lots of them wear red polos and goofy-looking yellow suspenders. Here we have collected nine legendary tales of when Chick-fil-A employees literally saved a customer's life in the drive-thru:
- A drive-thru worker in Tampa, Florida once performed an emergency appendectomy using the plastic gardening tools that come with the kid's meal - The scar reportedly reads "my pleasure".
- Jennifer, a cashier in Fresno, fought off attempted carjackers using only a straw - Sources say this humble employee was the actual inspiration for the John Wick franchise.
- One fabled Chick-fil-A employee from Colorado dove through the window to jump on an actual grenade - Fortunately, he lived, as the suspenders are grenade-proof.
- In December 2019, an employee at a Cheyenne, WY location judo chopped Chick-fil-A Sauce into the eyes of a starving, rabid bear - Simply part of standard drive-thru training.
- Chad, a 16-year-old employee in Chino Hills, CA, slayed a rampaging giant with a nugget fired from a slingshot - Five nuggets per kid's meal, just like the five stones David took to battle Goliath. No coincidence.
- A good Samaritan Chick-fil-A worker once stopped your mom from getting any more milkshakes - Oooooooo!
- A worker at a Topeka Chick-fil-A, Sarah, fended off an army of orcs while cradling a tired mom's colicky newborn in March of 2012 - This feat nearly earned her "employee of the month", but it was the second time it had happened that month, so Brad won instead. Darn it, Brad!
- Lucas in Maryland provided free marriage counseling to a couple that was about to wind up on Dateline - That spicy chicken deluxe saved an unsuspecting husband from winding up in a wood-chipper.
- Last but not least, Stu in Cleveland, Ohio, once defused a nuclear bomb some Libyans had brought through the drive-thru in their box truck - He gave special agent Jack Bauer the easiest 24 hours of his natural life.
Thank you, Chick-fil-A employees! You are like Marvel heroes, except with delicious chicken and far better dialogue.
Should you get your kid the new iPhone 14? Of course.