The Winter Olympics have long labored in the shadows of the Summer Olympics, boring and under-loved. With just half the viewership of the Summer games, the Winter Olympics is in dire need of bold changes. Here are 9 easy fixes to instantly make it more entertaining:
Every athlete in every event gets one of those biathlon guns: Game on.
All competitions performed on ice will be moved to a pond that is beginning to thaw: There's nothing like watching a speedskater go headfirst into the drink.
Introduce competitive snow angel making: BUT WITH GUNS.
Do the exact same games as in the Summer Olympics, but on ice: We're all in for javelin on ice.
Each nation gets one RPG per Olympic games to randomly fire at a competitor: The suspense will be so epic.
Cross country skiers get tauntauns: So much cooler, and an ever-present protection from hypothermia.
If you win a head-to-head gold medal match, you get to take over that country: Alpine skiing means just a little more when you might get conquered by Norway.
Set a polar bear loose on the ice at beginning of each figure skating routine: "She lands the triple axel, but--oh no! She's been mauled by a bear!"
For curling, change absolutely nothing, it's perfect as is: Well, except for the GUNS.
With these easy fixes, the Winter Olympics will be trouncing Summer in no time.
California transplants Steve and Timpani try to be the perfect Texas hosts for Brittuni's visit, but Steve quickly realizes he needs a sensible vehicle now that he's about to become a dad.
