9 Signs You Might Actually Be The Bad Guy
Lifestyle · Oct 16, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

In a complex world of international intrigue and shadowy conspiracies, who is to say what is right or wrong anymore? Are you a good guy, or a bad guy? WHO KNOWS!

That's why we reached out to a morality expert to help us understand evil.

Are you a bad guy? Keep an eye out for these warning signs:

  1. Paragliders seem like a great tool for murdering: They're supposed to be for recreation, silly!
  2. Your biggest supporters are Ayatollah Khamenei and Mia Khalifa: Yikes.
  3. You look at almost anything and say to yourself, "I wonder if I can turn that into a rocket and kill someone with it.": And now everyone's thirsty because you used all the water pipes to make rockets. Not cool, man.
  4. Biden just gave you $6 billion: Never a good sign.
  5. You defend yourself by reminding everyone you didn't behead all the babies you killed: Just some of them, you guys. Lay off!
  6. Your bulletproof vest has a child on the front of it: A subtle but troubling indicator that you might be the bad guy here.
  7. You have a heavy machine gun mounted in the bed of your 1994 Toyota pickup truck: Unless you live in Kentucky, this is a red flag.
  8. You are exhilarated by the thought of innocent people being killed: You should try being exhilarated by something else, like baseball.
  9. College kids love you: Yep, you're definitely the bad guy.

World, meet Travis. Travis, meet the world. In this first episode of our new show Travis Interviews the World, we interview some guy named Jordan Peterson.

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