7 More Incredible But True Stories About George Santos
Politics · Feb 11, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Just when you think you have heard the most insane story possible about Congressman George Santos, the mad lad (lady?) tops himself again! Here we have collected seven more totally preposterous, but one-hundred-percent true stories about George Santos:

  1. Carried a .395 batting average during a two-year stint with the Cubs - if it weren't for injury, Santos would likely be a first-ballot Hall-of-Famer.
  2. Was married at one point to both Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman - simultaneously, no less!
  3. Once filled in for Freddie Mercury during a Queen concert in Germany - Santos was so good, the band actually tried to replace Freddie.
  4. In a different universe, he's Spiderman - and also sometimes in this universe.
  5. Was the Dalai Lama for a brief period after college - he reportedly gave up his title after finding Nirvana too boring.
  6. His best friend is a giant blue ox named "Babe" - sometimes, if you listen closely, you can still hear the two traipsing through the forests of Minnesota.
  7. Was actually driving the car when Princess Diana died - the plot thickens!

Incredible! Let us know if you've heard of any others. We can't wait to see what George does next!

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.