ORLÉANS, FRANCE — Jacque de Pierre Château, a hard-working architect commissioned by Archbishop Regnault de Chartres, reportedly poured his heart and soul into a new cathedral that, unbeknownst to him, will someday be converted into a gay nightclub.
"It is my greatest masterpiece," the peasant-turned-architect said. "It is both functional and beautiful, giving parishioners a taste of Heaven on earth. Anyone who steps over the threshold will be drawn into beautiful communion with the Creator."
The grand cathedral, which in 2024 will be abandoned and converted into a club called "Twinktation," is expected to stand the test of time. "I designed it to never falter, even in the face of fire and famine. Even if all Christians in the area have been driven away, it will remain. Saint Vincent Ferrer, pray for me!" Pierre Château said.
The enormous cathedral is covered in detailed sculptures depicting the life of Jesus and the taking of Orléans from the English by Saint Joan of Arc. Every inch of the building is designed to bring to mind the work of Christ in His life. "We are all part of His sacred mission and I am so glad nothing will change that," he said.
At publishing time, the deceased Pierre Château requested for the Lord to rain down fire and brimstone upon his creation.
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