Trump is going to be president again! No, really! And when he takes office he's going to make America great and glorious again. For real this time! Over five hundred items are on the top of his day one list.
Here are a few things he'll do when he's back behind the resolute desk:
- Adjust the height of the presidential chair: Trump is way taller than Sleepy Joe Biden.
- Sign an executive order banning blue shells in Mario Kart: Make Rainbow Road safe again!
- Permanently bring back the McRib: True patriots eat McRib all year round.
- Nominate Buffalo Guy for Secretary of State: May have trouble getting confirmed in the Senate.
- Declassify everything: Then have it all sent to Mar-a-Lago for safekeeping.
- Ban Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas": Not on his watch!
- Annex Bluey so it can officially be codified as part of American culture: Only then can we fight back against absent fathers.
- Start a weekly pickup basketball game with Kim Jong-un: Diplomacy!
- Appoint Ron DeSantis ambassador to the South Pole: Very important job.
- Save Ukraine: He'll start by blowing up all the onion-shaped domes on the Kremlin.
NOT SATIRE: The situation in Ukraine is far from over, and many are left suffering in the war-torn cities that have been de-occupied. Many that are left in the cities are the elderly, disabled, and children, who now need help finding food, housing, medical help, etc. RevelationMedia has partnered with Ukrainian pastors and churches who are bringing critical spiritual and physical aid to de-occupied areas of Ukraine.
Make a donation to help support these efforts to aid people in the de-occupied cities in Ukraine, and your contribution will be shared directly with ministers who are working in the area. Your contributions fund gas, necessary goods, Bibles, and now Jesus Storybook Bibles for children.
Watch as a fired Twitter employee applies for her first *actual* job: