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Everywhere you look, there are petty tyrants trying to steal your freedom by making you wear a mask! We say ENOUGH! If you're as sick of it as we are, here are 10 handy methods to help you avoid wearing a mask when someone tells you to!
1) Smack them with your pocket Constitution - A Bill of Rights to the face oughtta stop them.
2) Shout "Am I being detained?!" while waving your Gadsden flag - NO STEP ON SNEK!
3) Slowly eat a giant tub of cheese puffs - As long as you're eating, you don't have to wear a mask.
4) Dress up as an illegal immigrant - They get to move about freely. Thanks, Biden!
5) Wear a "Tax the Rich" dress and pretend you're at the Met Gala. - AOC showed us how well this one works.
6) Smugly tell them you identify as wearing a mask. - LOLOLOLOL OWNED. Classic joke.
7) Summon the musket-wielding minutemen. - Rise up, brothers! Tally ho!
8) Wave a Scottish claymore around above your head while screaming "FREEEEEEDOM!" - Works every time.
9) Put on your "Trump Won" mask - They'll instantly regret their decision to make you wear one. 4D chess!
10) Just put on the mask like the brainwashed beta cuck sheeple you are. - Time to embrace your identity as a total loser. Baaaa!!!
NOT SATIRE: At UnMask, we are not fans of masks or mask mandates, but if you are forced to wear a mask, we are committed to providing you and your family the most free-breathing masks on the planet, and building them right here in the USA!
We created the UnMask out of two layers of the most breathable, ultralight materials that exist. The result is a mask that people can wear and breathe in all day without headaches, claustrophobia, or constantly fighting off anxiety attacks. The UnMask will not trap heat or moisture, fog your glasses or muffle your speech.
Legions of people that wear an UnMask refuse to wear anything else. Try an UnMask and you'll never wear anything else either. Each UnMask is proudly designed and made right here in the USA.