U.S. - Fans of former president Donald J. Trump are chomping at the bit to once again vote for the guy who fast-tracked vaccines and appointed Dr. Anthony Fauci to the Coronavirus Task Force.
"Trump was by far our greatest president. Even better than James Madison!" said local deplorable Nathan Nebulous. "Everything was great under Trump until that deadly virus changed the face of the entire earth overnight and ruined everything. But he was so good at owning the libs!"
Sean Hannity, a popular conservative pundit, announced his continued support of Trump on his radio program. "Sure, the vaccines don't seem to help at all and Fauci may have created COVID himself, but nobody's perfect. Don't lose sight of how great his Twitter account was before he got banned."
President Biden has welcomed a rematch with Trump, claiming it may be the only chance he has to stay in office. "I think this country is done with hetero-normative white men. No one's going to vote for him over a black man like me."
It's a serious medical emergency: you're minding your own business when you hear an opinion you slightly disagree with.