In the wake of last week's controversial conviction of Donald Trump, the term "banana republic" keeps being thrown around in reference to the United States. But what is a banana republic, and how do you know if you're living in one?
The Babylon Bee is here to help by providing the following list of tell-tale signs you're living in a banana republic:
- Your leader is a corpse: No matter how complicated the system of wires and pulleys may be, it's still obvious.
- Sacha Baron Cohen is making a mockumentary about your country: He's going to make your country look so stupid.
- Millions of citizens of other banana republics are migrating to your country because it feels like home: Only the best banana republics attract people from all the other banana republics.
- All of your country's elections are supervised by the CIA: Nothing fishy at all about an intelligence agency determining who runs the country. Totally fine.
- There are bananas everywhere: Could be an indication.
- The media, big corporations, and law enforcement all work for the government: Good thing that doesn't happen here.
- The ruling class seems unconcerned that the poors can't afford food: Let them eat crickets!
- Your nation's currency is worth less than actual bananas: Once people start using fruit to buy things, you're in trouble.
- The guy running against your current leader just got convicted of a "crime": Don't worry, this one's too ridiculous to ever actually happen in real life.
- The khaki pants cost $238: You definitely know you're in a Banana Republic when there is overpriced clothing everywhere you look.
If any of the items on the list above sound familiar, then congratulations, you live in a banana republic!
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
