10 Other Commandments That Didn't Make The Cut

Sponsored · Nov 13, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
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The Ten Commandments have long been seen as the backbone of societal laws for thousands of years, but did you know that there were other commandments that didn't make the list?

The Babylon Bee consulted with dozens of scholars to uncover the following list of commandments that ended up on the cutting room floor:


  1. Remember the sabbath day by wearing your favorite NFL team's jersey to church: Unless it's the Cowboys, for that is sin.

  2. Thou shalt install the toilet paper roll with the end of the paper coming out from under, not over, for over is a perversion in the sight of the Lord: You shall not put the paper over the top, as the nations that lived in the land before you did.

  3. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's board game collection: Neither shall you covet his Lego Millennium Falcon.

  4. Honor thy father and mother as long as they aren't being super lame: Because, like, whatever.

  5. Thou shalt not drive slowly in the left-hand lane, for this is an abomination to the Lord: By the testimony of two or three witnesses shall they be executed.

  6. Thou shalt never schedule a meeting that could have been an email: If you schedule an unnecessary meeting, the land shall become a desolate waste.

  7. Any man who puts pineapple on his pizza shall but cut off from among his people: His blood shall be on his own hands.

  8. Thou shalt not discuss your time spent at the gym, for there is no one in the land who cares about your gains: Verily, verily.

  9. Thou shalt just publish the recipe and not your entire life story: Woe to the man or woman who causes his brother or sister to scroll endlessly.

  10. Thou shalt not bear false witness unless your lies make you the most popular podcaster in the world: Even though you may not know know... you just know.


They may not have made the final cut, but there's no denying their importance. Violate the commandments above at your own risk. What other commandments should have been included? Post your suggestions in the comments.


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