California is known as one of the most beautiful places to live, partly due to the state's strong commitment to keeping the streets free from dangerous criminals. We're not talking about minor violators like people who shoplift thousands of dollars in merchandise from retail stores or people who assault innocent citizens without provocation. No, California goes after REAL criminals.
To help authorities keep the state safe, The Babylon Bee is sharing the following list of the 10 most wanted criminals in California:
- This father who didn't want to transition his son: What a hateful, bigoted man.
- This store owner who attempted to stop a shoplifter: He has no right to protect his own things from people trying to steal them.
- Ron Desantis: For murdering Gavin Newsom on live television.
- This kid who did finger guns at school: She was clearly practicing for a mass shooting.
- This waitress who offered someone a plastic straw: She tried to kill the Earth.
- This madman who used a gas-powered lawnmower: Thousands of people died from this violent act.
- Elon Musk: Currently the world's most dangerous man.
- This guy who was photographed illegally skateboarding during the pandemic: He wasn't even wearing a mask. Lock him up!
- This dangerous family of five who go to church every Sunday: This is no place for Christian nationalists.
- The 6 million Californians who voted for Donald Trump: Every single one of these dangerous domestic terrorists should have their right to vote taken away…to SAVE DEMOCRACY.
With your help, law enforcement can track down these terrifying criminals and put them behind bars where they belong.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
