U.S. — Sources across the country indicated that with the joyous start of the Kwanzaa season, white liberals all over the nation began wishing each other a happy Kwanzaa.
White progressives young and old gathered for a time of honoring the celebration of African-American culture, though sources confirmed they were having a tough time finding any actual African-Americans celebrating the holiday, "which is probably Trump's fault," as one white college student put it.
"Happy Kwanzaa!" said Michael Smith, 27, to his group of friends as they gathered at the Santa Monica Third Street Promenade for their traditional Kwanzaa gathering. "I hope you all are having a, uh - furaha - Kwanzaa festival this winter season." His friends stared at him. "Furaha means 'joyful' in Swahili. I Googled it."
His friends returned the festive Kwanzaa greeting and they went off in search of some black people to wish happy Kwanzaa to, but most were confused or responded with "Merry Christmas?"
Similar scenes played out all over America, as white liberals enjoyed their holiday of pretending to be very accepting and diverse.
At publishing time, white liberals had sent missionaries to Africa to spread the good news of Kwanzaa.
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