Though many people try to make the case that religion and politics don't mix, the truth is that political affiliations have been a part of history for thousands of years. Even your most beloved biblical figures were committed supporters of specific political parties.
The Babylon Bee is here to shed more light on the topic by revealing the following list of Bible characters and their political parties:
- Noah: Democrat. Huge believer in climate change.
- Methuselah: Democrat. Currently serving as President of the United States.
- Sodom & Gomorrah: The entire city was filled with Libertarians.
- Lazarus: Republican when he was alive. Democrat when he wasn't.
- Caiaphas: Democrat. He loved dragging his political enemies to court on false charges.
- Balaam's Donkey: Democrat. Party mascot.
- Job: Republican. Couldn't stop losing.
- Peter: Denied party affiliation three times.
- Satan: Democrat. Founder of the party.
- Jesus: Republican. Everybody knows this.
We hope you will take this valuable knowledge and use it to validate all your political affiliations. It's what Jesus would do, probably.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
