10 Key Moments From Biden’s State Of The Union
Sponsored · Mar 2, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

President Joe Biden delivered his first State of the Union address yesterday. He talked about everything from Russia invading Iran to securing the border against deadly vaccines. Boy, it was a hoot!

For those of you who didn't have the pleasure of bearing witness to our benevolent leader stringing some words together, here are ten key moments from the speech:

1) When Biden told businesses to cut costs: Genius.

2) When Biden promised to triple inflation: Such ambition!

3) When security deftly switched out Nancy Pelosi for a Pelosi body double without the cameras seeing: Always so sad when MK Ultra wears off.

4) When Clarence Thomas lit up a joint about halfway through: For the nausea.

5) When MTG shotgunned three beers in less than a minute: A new State of the Union record! 

6) When Chuck Schumer finally became a gif: Another one checked off the ole bucket list.

7) When Biden made some little boy feel uncomfortable from 50 yards away: He's been honing his skill.

8) When security dragged out Ron Paul for shouting "WROOONG!" every time Biden explained inflation: He did have a point, though.

9) When Pelosi ripped up pictures of ultrasounds in support of abortion: The only part of her audience participation that came naturally to her.

10) When the hand of God wrote 'REPENT' on the wall: An important moment but probably not Biden's favorite.

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