10 Exciting New Career Possibilities For The Retiring Dr. Fauci
Celebs · Aug 22, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

Dr. Fauci is throwing in the towel on public health like an absolute quitter. But don't count on the good doctor to fade into obscurity. He's just getting started on his second act.

Check out these ten exciting new career possibilities for America's doctor:

  1. CNN Anchor: Host of the revamped Reliable Sources!
  2. Game Tester for The Sims 5: Torturing Sims 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.
  3. Film Director: Making a documentary about painting a self-portrait of him starring in a documentary.
  4. Pitching Coach: He's already a natural at showing baseball players what not to do.
  5. Propagandist for North Korea: This might be challenging for him since he'd have to worship someone other than himself.
  6. Business Owner: We hear Bill Gates is interested in a partner to open a small local virus microbrewery.
  7. Dog Walker: Although he might not bring them back.
  8. Nursing Home Director: It's easy! Just pile all the bodies in.
  9. Muppet Voice Actor: He's a natural.
  10. Library Clerk: At the prison where he's serving a twenty-to-life sentence.
Babylon Bee subscriber Apis satiricus contributed to this report. If you want to pitch your own headline ideas to our staff, click here to check out all of our membership options!

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