10 Classic Books That Would Be Banned On Twitter As Hate Speech Today
Sponsored · Mar 21, 2022 · BabylonBee.com

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Little Women - A classic story that would be banned for implying women are little, or that they exist in any way. Should be called Standardized Menstruating Persons.


Moby Dick - A man's obsession with a whale is depicted as a negative. Pfft! You do you, Captain Ahab! It's almost as offensive as Queequeg not coming out of the closet. His name is so close to "queer" but they never outright say it. Sad.


Human Reproductive Biology, 4th Edition - Can you believe it took four editions and they still didn't filter out the hate?


A Little Princess - A similar problem to Little Women, only now it perpetuates white privilege. Disgusting!


Nancy Drew and the Case of the Missing Laptop - Maybe in a year when the New York Times makes sure the coast is clear.


The Berenstain Bears: He Bear, She Bear - I shouldn't even have to explain this one. Take your oppressive gender binary somewhere else, Berenstain Bears! 


How To Avoid Huge Ships - Fatphobic against majestic huge ships.


Identifying Wood - Wood must self-identify. You cannot assume.


War and Peace - Written by a RUSSIAN. Leo Tolstoy has not yet condemned the actions of Vladimir Putin.


The Tuttle Twins  -  Where to begin? These anti-socialism, pro-traditional values books shouldn't be allowed anywhere. 


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Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.

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