10 Benefits Of Still Wearing A Face Mask
Sponsored · Mar 6, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by PublicSq:

The coronavirus pandemic is on the ropes thanks to Dr. Fauci and the power of equity, but don't put that face mask away just yet! There's so much more you can get out of it.

Check out these benefits for still wearing your face mask:

  1. It protects you from other less deadly illnesses: Like the common cold or lycanthropy.
  2. You get to smell your most recent meal all the time: Mmmm, liver and onions!
  3. Nobody has to see your gross face: On the other hand, if you have cool scars women won't have the opportunity to be attracted to you.
  4. Your Bane impressions will always land: "Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!"
  5. You'll get a head start on masking for whatever the next pandemic is: It will be here any day now!
  6. It makes it easier to bluff when you're playing professional poker: You could win millions!
  7. The elastic will eventually pull your ears all the way forward, which will improve your hearing: Super hearing! Just like a superhero!
  8. It prevents kids from developing important language skills: Finally, some peace and quiet!
  9. They help you quickly distinguish between friend and foe: Comes in handy during a BLM riot.
  10. Your body will adapt to breathing CO2 instead of oxygen, which will save the planet: You'll be a hero!

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