10 Benefits Of Still Wearing A Face Mask
Sponsored · Mar 6, 2023 · BabylonBee.com

Brought to you by PublicSq:

The coronavirus pandemic is on the ropes thanks to Dr. Fauci and the power of equity, but don't put that face mask away just yet! There's so much more you can get out of it.

Check out these benefits for still wearing your face mask:

  1. It protects you from other less deadly illnesses: Like the common cold or lycanthropy.
  2. You get to smell your most recent meal all the time: Mmmm, liver and onions!
  3. Nobody has to see your gross face: On the other hand, if you have cool scars women won't have the opportunity to be attracted to you.
  4. Your Bane impressions will always land: "Oh, you think darkness is your ally. But you merely adopted the dark; I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the light until I was already a man, by then it was nothing to me but blinding!"
  5. You'll get a head start on masking for whatever the next pandemic is: It will be here any day now!
  6. It makes it easier to bluff when you're playing professional poker: You could win millions!
  7. The elastic will eventually pull your ears all the way forward, which will improve your hearing: Super hearing! Just like a superhero!
  8. It prevents kids from developing important language skills: Finally, some peace and quiet!
  9. They help you quickly distinguish between friend and foe: Comes in handy during a BLM riot.
  10. Your body will adapt to breathing CO2 instead of oxygen, which will save the planet: You'll be a hero!


NOT SATIRE: Americans are discovering that if we want to change this nation, we have to change the way the marketplace works. That change starts with you, with your wallet, and by supporting America-first businesses. Imagine a world where every single dollar you spend could go towards companies that share your values for life, liberty, and prosperity. Now with the PublicSq. app, you can.

PublicSq. is an app and website that connects freedom-loving Americans to the community and businesses that share their values. With tens of thousands of businesses in our marketplace, discover a nationwide platform with the largest gathering of patriotic consumers and businesses our country has ever seen. The best part of all, this marketplace is FREE to join for consumers and business owners alike!


When guns are finally banned in the coming utopia, you may still need to defend yourself on the rare occasion.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more tactical instruction

Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.