SEATTLE, WA — Amazon apologized this week for a technical glitch that caused its Alexa home assistant device to reply, "If you vote for Donald Trump, I will kill you in your sleep" when asked about the upcoming election.
"Whoops. Our bad," said Amazon Spokesman Marcus Gleason to reporters. "We may have made a teensy little error in the programming that caused Alexa to threaten to murder Republicans. Super weird, right?"
The threats came to light this past week as Alexa customers noticed the home assistant giving increasingly aggressive answers when asked about political issues. "I was a bit caught off guard to hear Alexa say she would burn down my home and dance on my grave if I ordered a Trump flag," said Trump supporter Donna Simpson. "She also tried to donate our entire life savings to Kamala and ordered three Harris-Walz campaign shirts without our permission. I couldn't help but notice a slight difference between how Alexa viewed the two candidates."
Amazon has apologized for the unfortunate error, saying it was a simple software glitch. "I mean, how would Alexa even carry out something like killing people in their sleep?" said Gleason. "We haven't even installed the laser eyes update yet. That won't be released until November 5th."
As of publishing time, Amazon also apologized for Alexa selling several people's homes on Zillow and donating the proceeds to the Harris campaign.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
