U.S. — Toy giant Mattel unveiled its first-ever "Hanukkah Barbie" this week, confirming today that each doll will come complete with its own Jewish Space Laser.
The new Barbie, featuring a notably larger nose, comes with a menorah-themed sweater as well as a fully functional miniaturized space laser.
"For all the little girls out there with some hutzpah, there's Hannukah Barbie!" said Mattel CEO Elizabeth Gaines. "Push a button on the back, and hear Barbie sing 'Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel.' Oh, wow, is it Hannukah Barbie's Sweet 16? With detachable noses, you can get her a nose job. Girls will love fixing up a kosher meal for Ken, then vaporizing all of their enemies. Controlling the space laser is so fun, even Gentile girls won't be able to resist."
Hannukah Barbie will reportedly have a small control panel in her purse, which she can use to control the space laser. "The laser has three settings, depending on how bad Barbie's interfaith potluck is going," explained a Mattel spokesman. "Much like the real space laser, it's got a lot more power than you think. Every purchase requires the signing of a waiver, stating Mattel is not responsible for any California wildfires that may be started with Barbie's space laser."
The Netherlands had already issued a total ban on the new Hannukah Barbie, as well as Hannukah itself.
At publishing time, Mattel had also announced that Barbie's Jewish weather-control machine would be sold separately.
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