The Babylon Bee
Health
· Sep 18, 2026
· 39
'Obesity Is A Disease,' Says Fatty
CHATTANOOGA, TN - Local fatty Mark Thompson spent all of lunch today explaining to family members how obesity is actually a disease.
Politics
· Sep 17, 2026
· 48
Dyslexic Gavin Newsom Celebrates $1.87 Gas
SACRAMENTO, CA - Famously dyslexic Governor Gavin Newsom hosted a press conference today celebrating gas prices in California reaching a new milestone...
Latest
Buzzing
Economy
· Sep 17, 2026
· 65
Caveman Issues Dire Warning That The Wheel Is Going To Eliminate Countless Jobs
GÖBEKLITEPE - The invention of the wheel may lead to massive job loss, according to a caveman who sounded the alarm to warn the rest of caveman societ...
Celebs
· Sep 16, 2026
· 96
Macklemore Performs Concert In Gaza And Oh No! They've Thrown Him Off A Roof
GAZA - In a bold act of solidarity, Grammy-winning rapper Macklemore staged a surprise rooftop concert in Gaza on Wednesday, performing his gay anthem...
Celebs
· Sep 15, 2026
· 47
Sydney Sweeney Tries To Gain Support Of Liberal Women By Murdering Multiple Children
LOS ANGELES, CA - Scandal struck Hollywood this week, as actress and businesswoman Sydney Sweeney attempted to gain support among liberal women by mur...
Celebs
· Sep 17, 2026
· 77
Travis Kelce Victimized By Criminal Ring That Forces People To Dress Like Idiots
KANSAS CITY, MO - One of football's biggest stars was revealed to have fallen prey to scammers, as Chiefs tight end Travis Kelce was victimized by a c...
Must Read
Travel
· Sep 16, 2026
· 86
Hawaiian Newlyweds Head Off To Luxurious Honeymoon In Iowa
DES MOINES, IA - Expressing a desire to escape the monotonous, hum-drum tropical paradise of Oahu, local newlyweds Kai and Leilani Kalani landed at De...
Sponsored
· Sep 15, 2026
· 83
10 Ways To Entertain Your Toddler
Raising a toddler can be a challenge, but entertaining your toddler can be even more difficult. It's not uncommon for parents to run out of ideas for ...
Culture
· Sep 16, 2026
· 51
Man Knows He's Finally Made It After Getting 2nd Fridge Just For Drinks In The Garage
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA - Local man Jim Crest leaned his back against the wall and marveled at the second fridge in his garage, realizing for the first t...
U.S.
· Sep 16, 2026
· 42
U.S. Space Weapon Revealed To Be Little Triangle That Shoots Bullets Out The Front
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to sources, the on-orbit space control weapon revealed on Monday by U.S. military officials was apparently a little trian...
Don't Miss
Premium Content
Premium
· Sep 11, 2026
· 109
25 Years Later...
Today is an emotional day for a lot of us. It marks the anniversary of the day the largest terrorist attack on American soil was carried out, taking t...
Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 92
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
Premium
· Aug 31, 2026
· 76
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Premium
· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Greatest Hits
All News
