U.S.
· Jun 13, 2026
· 58
U.S. Votes To Legally Adopt Freddy The German
U.S. - The citizens of the United States have overwhelmingly voted to legally adopt the World Cup tourist known only as "Freddy the German."
Entertainment
· Jun 12, 2026
· 68
'Disclosure Day' Causes Audiences To Question Their Faith In Steven Spielberg
U.S. - Moviegoers eagerly awaited the release of the latest sci-fi blockbuster film from one of showbusiness's most legendary directors, though early ...
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Politics
· Jun 11, 2026
· 59
Trump Sets New World Record By Winning War With Iran 27 Times In One Year
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Donald Trump set a new world record this week by winning the same war with Iran for the 27th time this year, shattering t...
Politics
· Jun 12, 2026
· 89
British Government Gives Religious Exemption For Suicide Vests
LONDON - In an ongoing effort to balance religious freedom and public safety, the government of the United Kingdom decided to grant exemptions for com...
Sponsored
· Jun 10, 2026
· 61
Was Jesus The Long-Awaited Messiah? 9 Subtle Clues
As Christians, we believe Jesus was the Messiah, or anointed one, and a fulfillment of Jewish scripture. But we understand that it might not be obviou...
World
· Jun 12, 2026
· 42
Starmer Sets Up Commission To Respond To Attempted Beheading UPDATE: The Commission Has Been Beheaded
LONDON - According to sources, Prime Minister Keir Starmer set up a commission to discern how best to respond to the attempted beheading in Belfast. U...
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Crime
· Jun 9, 2026
· 100
Nation Shocked As Jury Rules You Cannot Stab Someone In The Heart For No Reason At All
U.S. - The nation was thrown into a state of shock on Tuesday afternoon, as a jury in Texas ruled that you can't just stab someone in the heart for no...
U.S.
· Jun 10, 2026
· 86
Obama Says If He Had A Son Who Stabbed Someone In The Heart With A Knife, He Would Look Just Like Karmelo Anthony
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As racial tensions continued to rise in the wake of the verdict handed down in the Austin Metcalf murder trial, a somber former Pre...
Family
· May 19, 2026
· 51
Study Reveals 90% Of Data Centers Just Storing Your Wife’s Pictures Of The Kids
OVERLAND PARK, KS - The need for the construction of massive data storage centers has been in the news again recently, with the results of a new study...
World
· Jun 10, 2026
· 67
Starmer To Irish: Let’s Not Bicker And Argue About Who Beheaded Whom
LONDON - Public uprisings in Ireland flared once again last night, as Irish citizens lashed out in anger following the attempted beheading of an Irish...
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· May 25, 2026
· 37
It's Memorial Day: Whom Are You Honoring?
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· May 19, 2026
· 82
Farewell, Thomas Massie! Here Are 7 Of The Bee's Most Memorable Articles About Tom
As you may have heard, Thomas Massie has officially been defeated in Kentucky's GOP primary, heralding the end of his Congressional tenure. Massie has...
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· May 18, 2026
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Rejected Babylon Bee Photoshop #3492
Our crack team of certified fake news specialists work tirelessly every day to bring you fake news you can trust. We've shared before about how our te...
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· May 5, 2026
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Photo Caption Challenge Winner: Trump And The Bees Edition
Last week, we put out the challenge to our intrepid subscribers to caption this glorious photo of Trump with a bee. After sifting through the stack of...
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