Sports
· Dec 8, 2025
· 22
NCAA Confirms College Football Playoff Selections Made By Alcoholic Penguin
INDIANAPOLIS, IN - In the wake of controversy over teams being snubbed and left out of the postseason championship tournament, the NCAA reluctantly co...
Worldviews
· Dec 8, 2025
· 37
Atheist Looks Forward To The Warmth And Cheer Of Arbitrary Cultural Traditions With No Transcendent Meaning
NEW YORK CITY - Sources close to Gary Bard say that the long-time atheist is looking forward to the warmth and cheer of arbitrary cultural traditions ...
Latest
Fans Worry Sale Of WB To Netflix Could Turn Comic Book Movies Into Soulless Cash Grabs
Entertainment · Dec 6, 2025
· 51
Jehovah’s Witness Family Takes Drive To Look At All The Houses With No Christmas Lights
Religion · Dec 5, 2025
· 90
Game Of Monopoly Narrowly Avoided
Life · Dec 5, 2025
· 42
Family Just One Accidentally Opened Hotel Water Bottle Away From Bankruptcy
Life · Dec 5, 2025
· 47
Art Of The Deal: Man Negotiates Mechanic Down From $75 Oil Change To $2,000 Full Brakes And Rotors Replacement
Business · Dec 5, 2025
· 56
Mom Scours Toy Aisle In Search Of Perfect Christmas Present For Child To Break In Four Seconds
Family · Dec 5, 2025
· 56
Buzzing
Politics
· Dec 6, 2025
· 81
Special Needs Community Demands People Stop Comparing Them To Tim Walz
U.S. - Americans with cognitive disabilities and other special needs have demanded that people stop comparing them to Tim Walz.
Crime
· Dec 6, 2025
· 50
Nigerian Prince Scammed By Somali Immigrant
LAGOS, NIGERIA - In yet another case of fraud perpetrated by Somalis, a Nigerian prince fell prey to an online scam perpetrated by a Somali immigrant.
Celebs
· Dec 5, 2025
· 63
Taylor Swift Hoping Travis Kelce Forgot They’re Engaged
KANSAS CITY, MO - Rumors swirled that the Kansas City Chiefs' disappointing season had led one of the world's biggest celebrities to reconsider her fu...
World
· Dec 5, 2025
· 72
Junior Cartel Member Excited To Already Be Getting To Drive Boat
CARACAS - A young employee's burgeoning career took a massive step forward this week, as a junior cartel member was excited to find out that he was al...
Must Read
Sports
· Dec 3, 2025
· 87
Minnesota Vikings Change Name To Minnesota Somali Pirates
EAGAN, MN - In a move intended to better reflect the state's modern demographics and generate more interest in the team from the populace, the Minneso...
Entertainment
· Dec 4, 2025
· 70
'Black Hawk Down' Remake To Be Filmed In Minneapolis
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - A remake of the popular 2001 war film Black Hawk Down was reportedly in development at Columbia Pictures, with producers eyeing down...
Business
· Dec 4, 2025
· 77
Well, Looks Like They’re Still Making LaCroix
U.S. - In a surprising new revelation that was sure to raise eyebrows across the country, a new investigation revealed that, yes, it looks like they'r...
U.S.
· Dec 4, 2025
· 89
Walz Reminds Nation Not All Somali Rapists Are Bad People
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Amid national outrage over Somali immigrants in Minneapolis raping people all the time, Minnesota Governor Tim Walz held a press con...
Don't Miss
Xi Happily Drops All Tariffs After Trump Shows Him How To Use Chopsticks To Become A Walrus
World · Oct 30, 2025
· 62
Elon Musk Admits He Spent $44 Billion Just To Pull Off A Dad Joke
Celebs · Oct 27, 2022
· 169
Kamala Asks Biden To Stop Doing Trump Dance In Cabinet Meetings
Politics · Nov 19, 2024
· 87
Hamas Awarded Nobel Peace Prize For Releasing A Few Of The Children They Kidnapped
World · Nov 27, 2023
· 130
15 Fun Communist-Themed Olympic Events At Beijing This Year
Sports · Feb 4, 2022
· 176
Robert E. Lee Statue Gives One Final Thumbs-Up As It's Melted Down
U.S. · Oct 27, 2023
· 206
Premium Content
Premium
· Dec 5, 2025
· 22
New Video - Best Times To Yap To Your Husband
Ladies, sometimes you just have to tell your husband something completely irrelevant involving people he doesn't really know, or things that don't per...
Premium
· Dec 4, 2025
· 12
New Video - The Buzz #027: Drug Boats And Somalia
The Babylon Bee is back to talk about Kyle's Megabonk addiction and Trump's Thanksgiving message for the ages in which he called Governor Tim Walz ser...
Premium
· Nov 26, 2025
· 20
New Video - The Buzz #026: Pilgrims and Indians
The Bee crew is getting ready for Thanksgiving. Trump is undoing Autopen's turkey pardons, Wormtongue's X account was revealed to be based in Isengard...
Premium
· Nov 25, 2025
· 41
New Video - Starving African Children Raise Money To Feed Ariana Grande
This will move you to tears: a group of starving, emaciated African children raised money to help someone even more in need of nutrition than they: Ar...
Greatest Hits
El Paso Man Comes Down From Insane Acid Trip Where He Hallucinated That He Ran For President
Politics · Dec 27, 2019
· 11
Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People's Hair
Politics · Apr 9, 2020
· 28
Hillary Clinton Accidentally Posts Condolences For Tulsi Gabbard's Suicide One Day Early
Politics · Oct 23, 2019
· 14
Powerful: Protesters Spell Out 'Love' With Burning Homes And Businesses
U.S. · Jun 1, 2020
· 55
Kim Jong Un Attends Ivy League University To Learn New Brainwashing Techniques
World · Jun 15, 2021
· 144
Immediately After Moving To Texas, Elon Musk Announces Tesla AR-15
Tech · Dec 9, 2020
· 99
All News