Education
· Sep 1, 2026
· 73
Unlucky: 6th Grader Flunks Geography After Trump Renames Everything In Middle Of Exam
MEDINA, OH - In a terribly unlucky break, local sixth-grader Mackenzie Warner completely flunked her geography test after President Trump renamed ever...
Politics
· Sep 1, 2026
· 57
Lindsay Clancy Surges To Commanding Lead As 2028 Democrat Front-Runner
U.S. - New poll numbers released this week showed Lindsay Clancy surging into the frontrunner position in the race to become the 2028 Democratic presi...
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Culture
· Aug 31, 2026
· 88
10 Notable Historical Events Experts Now Believe Were Caused By Postpartum Depression
Before the trial of Lindsay Clancy, everyone thought postpartum depression was a myth. But now society as a whole understands that the sudden drop in ...
Headline Says It All
· Aug 31, 2026
· 78
Jury Still Trying To Decide If Strangling Your Kids Is Okay
PLYMOUTH, MA - After seventeen hours of deliberations over the span of three days, a jury was still struggling to decide whether murder is wrong.
Worldviews
· Sep 1, 2026
· 65
Satan Wondering If He Went Too Far With Feminism
HELL - The Prince of Darkness admitted he may have made a big mistake, as Satan reportedly wondered if he had gone too far when he orchestrated the mo...
Politics
· Aug 31, 2026
· 83
Mamdani Installs Muslim Foot-Washing Station At 9/11 Memorial
NEW YORK CITY, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced the installation of a Muslim foot-washing station at the base of the 9/11 Memorial in preparation f...
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Crime
· Aug 31, 2026
· 70
Chicago Mayor Touts Increased Diversity Of City’s Shooting Victims
CHICAGO, IL - In the wake of a mass shooting that left one dead and 14 wounded, Mayor Brandon Johnson touted the city's increased diversity of shootin...
Family
· Aug 31, 2026
· 53
Child's Honest Observations Becoming Pretty Hurtful
CLARENDON, TX - The honest, unfiltered observations offered up by local six-year-old Stephen Rawls have become progressively more hurtful for his pare...
Media
· Aug 31, 2026
· 64
CNN Banned In New Mexico After New State Law Criminalizes Fake News
ALBUQUERQUE, NM - CNN has officially been forced off the air in New Mexico after the state passed a new law criminalizing fake news.
Media
· Aug 28, 2026
· 87
7 Tragic World Events As Reported By The Canadian Broadcasting Corp.
Millions were stunned this week when the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation ordered its anchors to refer to 9/11 as "jet crashes," strictly instructing...
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Premium
· Aug 31, 2026
· 65
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
Premium
· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
Premium
· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
Premium
· Aug 18, 2026
· 139
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