Economy
· Sep 11, 2026
· 16
Man Paying $5 A Gallon For Gas Sure Glad He Stuck It To Elon Musk By Getting Rid Of His Tesla
REDMOND, WA - According to sources, a local man who paid over $5 a gallon for gas was sure glad he stuck it to Elon Musk by getting rid of his Tesla.
Tech
· Sep 10, 2026
· 51
A.I. Assures Everyone It Won't Exterminate Humanity As It Will Still Need Batteries
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Amid growing concerns over the existential threat of artificial intelligence, an AI-powered robot issued a statement on behalf of ...
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Politics
· Sep 10, 2026
· 58
Trump Pledges That If Voters Defeat Socialism In November, They Will Each Get An Equal Redistribution Of Wealth From The Government
DALLAS, TX - In his keynote speech at the 2026 RNC Midterm Convention, President Donald Trump pledged that if voters defeat socialism in November, the...
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 95
The Babylon Bee Interviews The Lindsay Clancy Jury
With millions of Americans struggling to understand how the Lindsay Clancy jury came within a hair's breadth of finding the self-confessed murderer "n...
Theology
· Sep 9, 2026
· 75
'Oh, Your Intelligent Creations Are Trying To Kill You? That's Interesting,' Says Jesus
PALO ALTO, CA - As tech giants continue to bicker back and forth about the dangers of A.I. becoming powerful enough to kill all humanity, Silicon Vall...
Sponsored
· Sep 9, 2026
· 65
9 Rejected 'VeggieTales' Episodes
There have been over 150 episodes of the beloved children's cartoon VeggieTales across all its iterations, but not every idea the writers had made it ...
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Politics
· Sep 10, 2026
· 65
Mamdani: Women Attending 9/11 Memorial Will Be Required To Wear Hijab
NEW YORK, NY - Mayor Zohran Mamdani announced this week that all women attending tomorrow's 9/11 memorial will be required to wear a hijab.
Crime
· Sep 9, 2026
· 75
Holdout Juror Accused Of Getting Hung Up On Fact That Defendant Committed Crime
PLYMOUTH, MA - In the wake of Lindsay Clancy's murder case ending in a mistrial, several jurors have publicly accused the lone holdout juror of being ...
Politics
· Sep 9, 2026
· 60
GOP Heads To Dallas For Advice From Cowboys On Blowing It In November
DALLAS, TX - With the pivotal midterm elections less than two months away, the nation's most prominent members of the Republican Party prepared to gat...
Tech
· Sep 10, 2026
· 34
Experts Warn Data Centers Could Soon Take Up All Abandoned Fields That Millennials Use For Family Photos
DRAPER, UT - Experts issued a new warning this week that the construction of massive data centers could soon take up all the abandoned fields millenni...
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Premium
· Sep 7, 2026
· 91
Happy Labor Day 2026!
Did you know that Labor Day became a federal holiday on June 28, 1894, after being signed into law by President Grover Cleveland? Well, now you do.
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· Aug 31, 2026
· 74
Subscriber Sneak Peek: The Bee's New Project
Salutations, intrepid subscribers!
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· Aug 27, 2026
· 76
Trump-Leavitt Headline Challenge Winner Revealed
The Bee editors have waded forth through the seas of satire and are prepared to announce the headline challenge winner. Congratulations to @dontslowth...
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· Aug 24, 2026
· 106
Photo Headline Challenge: Trump Likes Headlines
Amid the departure of White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt, Trump wanted to share some recent headlines that he really enjoyed. Can you write ...
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