The Babylon Bee
Scripture
· Nov 9, 2026
· 26
Joseph’s Brothers Jealous Of His Vintage Charlotte Hornets Starter Jacket
CANAAN - Tensions heightened in one prominent local family this week, as witnesses reported that Joseph's brothers had grown increasingly jealous of h...
U.S.
· Nov 9, 2026
· 27
Texas Adds Stars To State Flag To Represent All Six Genders
AUSTIN, TX - The state of Texas announced an update to its famous "Lone Star" flag, adding five more stars in order to represent all six genders.
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U.S.
· Nov 5, 2026
· 121
Do You Live In Texas? Here Are 12 Things You Should Do To Prepare For Democrats Taking Over
Listen up, Texans: most of you have never experienced living under Democratic rule, and there are some new realities you need to be ready for.
Finance
· Nov 7, 2026
· 79
Promises Kept: Democrats Deliver On Affordability By Making Stocks Way Cheaper
U.S. - Democrats proudly announced that they had already delivered on their campaign promise to improve affordability, having made stock prices far, f...
Politics
· Nov 6, 2026
· 100
Republicans Wishing There Had Been Some Kind Of Act They Could Have Passed To Save America
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Blindsided by Tuesday's midterm election debacle, Republicans were reportedly now wishing there had been some kind of act they coul...
Lifestyle
· Nov 7, 2026
· 115
Start Your Engines: Liberal Women Announce They're Ready To Have Sex Again Now That Abortion Will Be Legal
U.S. - Men broke out in rejoicing upon learning that in the wake of the midterms, all the lovely, gorgeous liberal women of America were ready to end ...
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Politics
· Nov 4, 2026
· 135
Cheer Up, Friends: Here Are 8 Silver Linings Of The Republicans Getting Blown Out
Turn those frowns upside down, everyone! Even though the Democrats won sweeping victories across the country in the midterms, it's not all bad news ou...
Politics
· Nov 5, 2026
· 47
After Seeing Election Results, Trump Announces Retaliatory Tariffs On America
WASHINGTON, D.C. - On Thursday morning, President Donald Trump announced retaliatory tariffs on the United States after his political party suffered m...
Celebs
· Nov 5, 2026
· 55
Russell Brand Convicted In UK Court On Charges Of Raping While Not Muslim
LONDON - Harsh justice looked set to be carried out soon, as actor-comedian-podcaster Russell Brand was found guilty in a UK court on charges of rapin...
U.S.
· Nov 6, 2026
· 43
Newsom Clears Murderers Out Of Death Row To Make Room For People Caught With Plastic Straws
SACRAMENTO, CA - California Governor Gavin Newsom signed an executive order on Thursday granting immediate clemency to all 548 inmates currently resid...
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Premium
· Nov 9, 2026
Subscriber Polls: Why Did The Republicans Lose The Midterms In A Blue Tsunami?
Well it looks like last week's midterm election may result in a Senate with at least 54 Democrat senators and a House with at least 254 Democrat repre...
Premium
· Nov 6, 2026
· 25
The Babylon Bee Weekly Roundup | November 6, 2026
It's been quite the week, but Friday has arrived at last! That means it's once again time for The Babylon Bee's Weekly Roundup - here are the biggest ...
Premium
· Nov 5, 2026
· 61
Office Buzz: 'Why Is *** Offensive?'
For writers like the intrepid journalists at The Babylon Bee, it sometimes looks like we're goofing around when what we're really doing is brainstormi...
Premium
· Nov 4, 2026
· 56
How To Keep Things In Perspective When The Commies Take Over
One of the main reactions conservatives can have to an election like we just witnessed, in which the radical Democrats seem poised to take everything ...
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